It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
