so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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