i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
