if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We had to coat check the pizza.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
