I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
