i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
