Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
