Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
