i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im holly from the hills drunk
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is Oprah even human
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
