Plan B is the new Plan A
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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