They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
