I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
