PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
