He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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