Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize