Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
