I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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