It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
