i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
