My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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