I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We need to rekindle our bromance
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
