Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
