I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
