There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize
