I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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