Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize