I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
