I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
