I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
