i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
