I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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