Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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