your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
