get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
