weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
