Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
