her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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