I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
