i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
