i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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