Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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