home. puking in laundry basket.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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