i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
