dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
