He uses pillows to masturbate.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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