why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
