he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
