they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize