Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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