perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
