first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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