PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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