Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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