these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
