A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
