you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
