Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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