You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
