Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
