when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
