Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
