at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
