i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
